


can't nobody do it like this

by meananimagus



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Feelings Realization, Fluff, M/M, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2020-01-24 12:43:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18571747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meananimagus/pseuds/meananimagus





	can't nobody do it like this

'it's been a year now'

well, felix knows. he fucking knows how long his harboring feelings towards hyunjin have been going on now. he doesn't need jisung's constant reminders, chan's pitiful gazes, woojin's comforting back pats and minho's encouraging smiles to remember that he likes hyunjin and has been feeling that way for a year already.

hyunjin. hyunjin. hwang hyunjin.

how is he even supposed to forget for a moment when his brain won't allow the boy to wander off somewhere else. he's everything felix thinks about, he's everything felix dreams about. and it's rather becoming more and more hopeless because as his crush towards the older drags longer, hyunjin remains oblivious.

they're not close, at least not as close as felix and jisung, the inseparable duo, or changbin and hyunjin, childhood bestfriends. but they all are a part of the same friend group. felix and hyunjin talks, felix talks with everyone, they sometimes hug each other too, trying to be as comfortable to each other as possible because they can't just not, they belong in the same circle, they have mutual friends that kind of forces them to mingle with each other whether they like it or not, but hyunjin has never been as tactile towards felix as he is with changbin and the others. felix felt like hyunjin has drawn some line between himself and felix and the younger is more than afraid to even try and cross it. he knows his boundaries.

it hurt him, obviously, like a whole lot. his self-esteem level dropping lower everytime hyunjin just spares him a glance and a small smile whenever they meet, but gives an enthusiastic hugs and yelling towards the others. his insecurities starts eating him up whenever hyunjin won't sit beside him even though it's the only empty space available, instead plops himself onto jeongin's lap or whoever's but felix. never felix. he's clingy to everyone except felix, he's chatty when talking to everyone but won't initiate a conversation with felix.

it's all too much.

sometimes felix wonders if he did something that caused hyunjin to not like him, or maybe he does but just not as much as he likes their other friends. but felix is so unconfident that he prefers thinking that hyunjin hates him. the thought giving him a little bit more of a safeground to stay at, to not get too hopeful so he wouldn't ruin himself when it turned out hyunjin really does hate him.

what felix doesn't understand most is that why can't he unlike hyunjin, despite all the rejections and apparent coldness the older gives him, he still can't seem to stop liking him. to the point that he cries over it every night, until the tireness and pain just exhaust him enough to fall asleep.

he's cried a lot. more than he's supoosed to, more than he ever did in his entire life, more than what their friends know, more than how much his eyes are even capable of letting out. it's heavy, his chest feels heavy and unbearable and shit, he hates it a lot. he hates the pain. he hates that no matter how much, desperately, he tries to get rid of his goddamned feelings, it grows just more. making him suffer longer.

he thinks hyunjin knows. he probably has an idea about felix's feelings towards him. and that's what hurts the most. that he shows no shit about it, like he doesn't care.

it's been a year yet nothing has changed.

some small things probably did, like how changbin and felix grew closer. felix never expected it to happen, but that one night changbin approached him, a friendship started.

felix remembered it was when he stayed in the library, deciding to get his homeworks done there instead of taking them home to his dorm because he knows jisung would prefer staying up with him until he finishes instead of sleeping. felix appreciates the kind act but jisung needs a rest.

felix was skimming over a book when the chair beside him moved, someone occupying it, that someone soon after spoke to him.

"hey, do you mind if i sit with you?" changbin asked softly, a soft smile playing against his lips. felix hasn't noticed until then but they actually looked plump and kissable. he noticed the smile slowly twitching into a smirk so he stopped his thoughts, a blush creeping into his cheeks, highlighting his freckles. he just nodded, finding it hard to verbally respond.

to his credit, changbin doesn't mention it. they studied in silence. it's not uncomfortable, to felix's amusement, because it's the first they ever spent time together alone, without the others, without hyunjin. felix enjoyed, he can admit to that, at least.

after that day, fate seemed to start setting up the two, both passing each other in hallways more often than usual, both staying in classes or the library to catch up on lessons at the same time that they just decide on studying together, they even accidentally meet outside the school, at the ice cream shop that felix frequents to or at the nearest grocery store when both are being assigned to do the shopping in their dorms.

they grew closer. jisung noticed, everyone noticed, hyunjin noticed.

felix isn't sure about his feelings now. he thinks he still likes hyunjin, but his heart almost reacts the same towards changbin too. the point of difference, felix hasn't figured out yet, or will he ever?

he notices too. the suggestive words changbin says when they talk, changbin's unwavering soft gaze, his fleeting touches. the way changbin is flirty to nothing else but him. changbin likes felix. felix isn't dumb to realize that.

chan seemed to notice it too, as well as the others. changbin isn't really subtle about it. felix thinks he might like the older just as much. but until he's completely sure, he's not touching the issue yet.

but before felix almost made a decision to give it a chance, give changbin a chance, hyunjin starts getting in the way, with a different strategy, and there goes felix's feelings reeling back at full speed.

hyunjin started spamming him with texts, more like memes actually, soft memes, the ones with hearts and sprinkles and all that shit and felix is conflicted. confused and frustrated. hyunjin also started calling him often, every night, with no fail, even attempting a video call whenever they're both not too busy with schoolworks to be able to hold a decent conversation while looking at each other. it always causes tingles against felix's heart.

changbin and hyunjin, they made felix's life into a full-blown chaos, his feelings getting pretty messed up, too much to handle.

both also started to accompany him everywhere he goes, invites him almost everyday to hang out either at their dorm or at his own, movie playing in the background, hyunjin always leaning too close until his head is resting above felix's shoulder, a hand snaking around his waist, changbin's head on his lap, one hand gripping felix's against his chest. this relationship turning into something more vague and unconventional.

felix always wonders what's going on, what's the thing the three of them have, what he is to the older boys, but he's just too scared to vocalize his thoughts. changbin showers him with too much affection as much as hyunjin does. he thinks they both like him, if he's sane enough to weave things together.

hyunjin and changbin also gives as much affection towards each other and felix feels like, it's what they have. it's some unexplainable enigma but it works.

seungmin once asked him if they're in a polyamory relationship, felix choked on his soggy fries.

"dude, stop categorizing poly as a term that revolves only around the weird sexual shit. poly can be innocent and pure too, like what you, changbin hyung and hyunjin have."

seungmin's words struck him, it caused him one sleepless night and a mind filled with thoughts during their weekend movie night at changbin and hyunjin's dorm. and of course, his evidently unfocused attention was noticed by the two.

"what are you thinking about, love?" changbin squeezed his arm around his waist. felix smiled at the endearment, hyunjin pulled him closer until he was pillowing over his chest, a hand playing at his hair.

"seungmin told me about polyamory." he informed the two, casually, changbin raised an eyebrow and hyunjin hummed so felix continued,

"what are we?" he asked, his hand gripping hyunjin's hand tighter as changbin pressed closer.

"i love you, baby, that's what i know." hyunjin replied, voice laced with sincerity.

"i love you too, i've been for more than a year now." changbin said next and felix felt an enormous warmth inside his chest, enveloping his heart.

"i also love hyunjin but i think i love you more." hyunjin smacked the oldest in the head to which changbin chuckled at, teasingly poking a tongue out towards the former. felix couldn't help but grin.

"i love you more than i love changbin hyung, bub, he's old." hyunjin retorted and changbin just reach a hand to pinch his arm. felix let out a low laugh.

changbin looked up at felix with his chin resting above the youngest shoulders, hyunjin tightened his arm around him.

"do we get an 'i love you' back?" he teasingly asked that felix rolled his eyes at.

"i think i love you both equally." hyunjin pulled away a bit to show him his pouting lips.

"you should love me more, i give the best cuddles." he sulked, changbin huffed.

"the fuck are you even saying? felix loves my cuddles."

"hyung, no offense, but felix likes being the small spoon." hyunjin gave the oldest a once over, emphasizing his last word.

"im sorry my height isn't as abnormal as yours."

"apology accepted."

before the two makes a bigger argument about who deserves more love from felix, he decided to shut them both up by pecking a kiss into each of their lips, catching the both off guard. he laughed at the shocked expression of the two and the slowly reddening skin of their faces.

after a couple of seconds, he got two blushing mess burying their faces against his neck and a tangle of limbs and legs trapping him in the middle.

what they have might not be the most normal thing in the world, and some people might turn heads at them, faces morphed into disgust or judgements but the trio won't care. felix knows to himself that despite it being an unusual non-platonic relationship, he's more than willing to make it work, he trusts they can make it last.

it was a rough journey, patches and curves were exhausting struggles but the reward felix earned at the end makes all the pain and suffering worthy. he loves what he has now.


End file.
